I'm constantly reminded of our country's failures when my daughter finishes reading something and comes to me with an 11-year-old's version of WTF. Today, as she was reading the constitution, Article 1, she asks me why a naturalized citizen who has lived in the U.S. for a loooooooong time cannot be president. 

Good fucking question. Why are we still creating levels of citizen in this country? Why can't someone who immigrated here (regardless of motive and circumstance), went through the innumerable hoops required to be considered legal, and dedicated themselves to this nation still not be able to be a leader of the people? 

For a brief second, even though I knew better, I thought there's no way that still applies. Before giving her an answer, I actually googled to confirm that no recent legislation had gone through to amend this absurdity. Of course it hasn't changed. I knew that, but I am a hopeless romantic. An idealist. A woman who wants to believe that we are better than using someone's birthplace as a factor for discrimination.

The point is, I would like there to be a day when I can tell my child that the law has changed. That people who live here; people who become citizens can be president. That is it. That's the post.

Considered a line of six iambic feet or a line of twelve syllables. It is usually the last line too. Spenser was known for using this line style in his poetry. The Alexandrine was used prior to Shakespeare and Marlowe. It was a common line style in German literature and French poetry.

Every writer needs no matter what field of writing they write within needs a copy-editor. A copy-editor takes your written material and works into something presentable to the public (or your audience). A copy-editor helps you not look like a total idiot (even I look like one sometimes because I struggle to catch my own errors when typing on the computer). Let's look at what copy-editors do and how you can find one.

What does a copy-editor do besides making you look good?
A copy-editor combs through your written material looking for any errors in accuracy, readability, grammar and spelling errors,  omission, inconsistency and repetition. 

Some of the nit-picky items they look for are:

• spelling
• punctuation
• grammar
• style and usage
• extraneous and annoyingly long sentences
• overuse of italic, bold, capitals, exclamation marks
• passive voice
• weak evidence 
• plot issues
• numbering issues
• changes in POV
• changes in a character's name or physical appearance. 
• redundancy
• appropriate headings

Copy-editors do not proofread your work. You would need to hire somebody for that or use the app Grammarly like I do to check on last minute items. Of course, proofing is a different beast with the use of devices to type. But  typically, a proofreader will compare one copy to another copy to make sure the edits have been made. They may correct last-minute details. Nowadays, many refer to proofreading as checking for spelling and grammar.

How Much Should I Pay a Copy-Editor?
As much as your writing is worth to you. The minimum should be $35/hr, but as much as $100/hr. You can work that out with your copy-editor. Each copy-editor has their own fees.

You can take a look at my fees on my services page. If you would like to hire a copy-editor, email me and we can talk about your project.

As a writer, you are probably busy writing query letters, completing assignments, and asking yourself how you can make more money as a writer. And while many writing professionals will tell you that blogging is dead, I would argue that those folks just don't want the competition. You can manage a blog about writing and make money from it. ​

​DEFINITION: A ballad tells a story, using rhyme to establish a regular cadence.  The plot-driven poem has characters and rich imagery to show the narrative.ORIGIN: Began in European folk tradition. Originally orally shared until much later in the 15th-17th centuries when they were written down. Ballads often spoke of love, crime, social issues, and tragedy.

LINES: No establish number of lines.

RHYME PATTERN: Tends to be alternating line rhymes, but it is common to see AABB within the rhyme pattern.

STANZAS: Quatrains

OTHER NOTES: Lines may contain only a handful of stresses.

EXAMPLES:
Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” begins:

It is an ancient mariner
And he stoppeth one of three.
—“By thy long grey beard and glittering eye,
Now wherefore stoppest thou me?
The bridegroom’s doors are opened wide,
And I am next of kin;
The guests are met, the feast is set:
Mayst hear the merry din.”
He holds him with his skinny hand,
“There was a ship,“ quoth he.
“Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!”
Eftsoons his hand dropped he.

INTRODUCTION
Constraint-based writing involves a series of rules that imposes a pattern on the writing. With our conversations starting with Oulipo, the French experimental constraint-based writing group, it seemed fitting to explore potential influences on that group. Considering Oulipo’s French history, I wondered which historical writing forms not only influenced the birth of Oulipo-inspired writing, but which ones may still be a living component of the compendium.

After all, Oulipo is designed to inspire writing through compulsory rules, i.e. constraints.

What better way to do so than to look at a long-standing French poetic form, the villanelle. The villanelle, a fixed poetic form sheds light on the adherence to patterns, rhyme, meter, and style of French constraint-based writing, as a starting point for the development of constraint-based writing. Does it? Maybe, maybe not, but it is worth exploring.

Is a villanelle a form of potential literature? Does the strict form free the content? Does it create spontaneous self-discovery of writing that would otherwise go unwritten? How can we discuss the historical poetic forms as the potential birth of contemporary experimental writing? I don’t have the answers to these questions, but in my exploration of the villanelle, I seek to find woven strands.

HISTORY
The villanelle originates from the French and bears a rich historical development. Originally, the villanelle stood as a ballad to imitate the songs of French oral tradition. The fixed poetic form became standard during the 17th century upon the publication of Jean Passerat’s poem “Villanelle” published in 1606. And while the villanelle has its origin in French literature, a majority of villanelles have been written by English-writing poets. Poets such as Oscar Wilde, Andrew Lang, Dylan Thomas, and Elizabeth Bishop are known for using the villanelle. The original form was often used to write pastoral poems, but contemporary poets such as Sylvia Plath and Seamus Heaney have used the villanelle to write outside of the original usage.

“Villanelle” by Jean Passerat
J’AI perdu ma tourterelle;
Est-ce point celle que j’oy?
Je veux aller après elle.
Tu regrettes ta femelle,
Hélas! aussi fais-je moy.
J’ai perdu ma tourterelle.
Si ton amour est fidelle,
Aussi est ferme ma foy;
Je veux aller après elle.
Ta plainte se renouvelle,
Toujours plaindre je me doy;
J’ai perdu ma tourterelle.
En ne voyant plus la belle,
Plus rien de beau je ne voy;
Je veux aller après elle.
Mort, que tant de fois j’appelle,
Prends ce qui se donne à toy!
J’ai perdu ma tourterelle;
Je veux aller après elle.

FORM
The villanelle consists nineteen lines outlined as five tercets followed by a final quatrain. The rhyme structure holds the form in place. Two repeating rhymes and two refrains exist throughout the poem. The first line of the first stanza acts as the last line of the second and fourth stanzas. The third line of the first stanza is positioned as the last lines of the third and fifth stanzas. The rhyme scheme is noted on the layout below as the lowercase letters:

Tercet 1:
Line 1 – refrain 1 (rhyme a)
Line 2 (rhyme b)
Line 3 – refrain 2 (rhyme a)

Tercet 2:
Line 4 (rhyme a)
Line 5 (rhyme b)
Line 6 – refrain 1

Tercet 3:
Line 7 (rhyme a)
Line 8 (rhyme b)
Line 9 – refrain 2

Tercet 4:
Line 10 (rhyme a)
Line 11 (rhyme b)
Line 12 – refrain 1

Tercet 5:
Line 13 (rhyme a)
Line 14 (rhyme b)
Line 15 – refrain 2

Quatrain:
Line 16 (rhyme a)
Line 17 (rhyme b)
Line 18 – refrain 1
Line 19 – refrain 2

No established meter exists in the villanelle. However, many 19th century villanelles used trimeter or tetrameter. Gary Kent Spain posted On the Plains, a trimeter villanelle to All Poetry. The poet deviates from the original form, an explains the reasoning as a rebellion against the way a villanelle ends. The clinamen permits a small freedom from an otherwise stringent adherence to form.

On the other hand, 20th century, poets used pentameter. Giorgio Venetopoulos wrote a villanelle in iambic pentamete to exhibit the strictness that can be applied to the form. The content discusses the process of writing, and more importantly, the villanelle. Since the villanelle has no set meter, I see this as the writer further constraining oneself … although, poets such as Elizabeth Bishop took took many liberties in her villanelle, which allows the individual aesthetics to come through, as a shadow.

FORM AND CONTENT
The rigid form of the villanelle evokes a sense of obsession and compulsion as the refrains interact with the remaining lines. The form give way to a feeling of dislocation within the content. Moreover, the strict form requires the writer to focus on the form, thus freeing the content within the form.

The sense of obsessions and compulsions, even mental dislocation is apparent in Sylvia Plath’s “Mad Girl’s Love Song” :::

Mad Girl’s Love Song
“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)”

As I see it here, the constraints of the villanelle allow for generative distraction. In order to liberate a poem of pure intellectual thought and marry together both feeling and thought, one must force the mind into distraction. In this case, the distractions are the required rhymes and refrains. This notion falls in line with the mission statement of the Oulipio Compendium. By applying rules to the writing, the content takes its own shape, its own misgivings, its own liberties to become literature.

T.S. Eliot called this the theory of dissociation of sensibility. Spontaneity.  The villanelle requires labor on the form, but in doing so, it allows the writer to release the anxiety of creating a “good” poem, thus allowing the poem self-discovery.

Thus, established poetry forms such as the villanelle, the sestina, and the sonnet act as the framework for the birth of true poems. By true poems, I refer to a poem’s content that is freed from the external stresses that come with writing non-structured, free form poetry. The content delivers without the worry of line count, rhythm, etc… poems pressured into a form are afforded creative liberties that may not come about without the constraints.
​
I view poetic forms as a starting point for the current status of experimental and conceptual writing outlined via Oulipo and our contemporary view of constraint-based writing.

The tone of the poem is a combination of a saddened honesty and sarcasm. The start of the poem begins with, “no I cannot win a knife fight,” which feels vulnerable and honest. The word choice and sentence structure convey this attitude. The first word is ‘no’ and that seems to be a response from the speaker to an authority figure, or of a question positioned in a way that only leaves one answer; it limits the possibilities. Combine “no” with the word “cannot” that follows and the lines quickly takes a sad turn, as it becomes an admission of defeat. Through the word “cannot,” the speaker confers this as fact and there is no changing it. The rigidity presented in this statement lends to the feeling of the speaker feeling alone in a society that doesn’t welcome both the idea of a yes and a no existing simultaneously, which thus lends to the overall gender fluidity presented throughout Conrad’s poetry.

However, while the first line is depressingly honest, Conrad is quick to insert humor and sarcasm in the very next line with, “for the fifteenth time” and complexes the meaning behind line one. Sarcasm and humor add a line of defense to the speaker; he may have successfully won fourteen knife fights, but the question arises, “why was he involved in so many knife fights?” The tone continuum moves back and forth from line to line so much that it becomes difficult to know exactly what is going on in the poem, but I believe that is the point of the poem.

This rolling together of lines adds another complexity to the poem: multiple potential readings depending the reader’s innate placement of breaths and pauses. The multiple readings occur due to the omission of punctuation and radical enjambment. For example, lines 1-4 offer a variety of readings due to the enjambment and reader’s choice to insert punctuation/pauses. The lines read, “no I cannot win a knife fight/for the fifteenth time/I didn’t see who/stabbed him.” At first, I read lines 1-2 as the speaker being unable to win a knife fight again, but during my second evaluation of the lines, I read line one alone and lines 2-3 together, which positioned the reader as being questioned about witnessing an event. By inserting a comma at the end of line one, and subsequently reading lines 2-3 together, it altered the speaker’s role. The speaker is no longer an active participant in the knife fight; rather, he is in the line of questioning as a witness (and perhaps involved).

Becoming the witness allows the speaker to see what the authority figure and the knife participants cannot see in the world, which speaks to the overall theme of being an outlier on a designated spectrum. Multiple readings are seen in “earache could be/from hearing/your last words/over and over in dreams” as well. If lines 16 and 17 are read together with a natural pause placed at the end of line 17, then the speaker is in pain from hearing the “your” utter his/her last words. On the other hand, if I read the work straight through line 18, then I am subjected to the speaker’s dream world. The layering of meaning that Conrad performs through enjambment and punctuation permits the reader to become a direct participant in the meaning of the poem; the reader adds natural pauses and derives different meanings based on how the lines are read together.

Conrad’s poem begs to be read multiple ways with a subtle ear to pick up on the oscillating tone and themes he explores through enjambment and punctuation.  

As a part of my job working as a copywriter, I am required to write product descriptions (only during the holiday season, thank goodness). This season, I am working for Overstock, and if anybody else has written for Overstock before, then you know maintaining a diverse set of adjectives (that are appropriate and offer a benefit to the consumer nonetheless) is vital to your job stability.

Well this week I am writing about comforters. Comforters in blue. Comforters in gray. Comforters in a bag. And the thing I am coming up against is the adjective SOFT.

Yes, a comforter is soft. But how can I make the comforter more than soft? And how can I use the term soft not only to describe the touch of the fabric, but the element of softness the comforter creates in the room?

To avoid boilerplating and sheer boredom, here is the list of words that I have developed in lieu of the word SOFT:

• delicate
• silky
• smooth
• romantic
• supple
• downy
• feathery
• fluid
• flowing
• snug
• pleasant
• relaxed
• serene
• warm

Among others…thoughts?

​DEFINITION: A love poem that esteems or dirges the rising of the sun. The poem can also be about lovers or love during the morning time.ORIGIN: French. The first usage was around 1678.

LINES: Varies.
​
RHYME PATTERN: Iambic pentameter, but of course, not always. Metrical variation is important.

STANZAS: Varies.

Busy old fool, unruly sun,
               Why dost thou thus,
Through windows, and through curtains call on us?
Must to thy motions lovers' seasons run?
               Saucy pedantic wretch, go chide
               Late school boys and sour prentices,
         Go tell court huntsmen that the king will ride,
         Call country ants to harvest offices,
Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime,
Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time.

               Thy beams, so reverend and strong
               Why shouldst thou think?
I could eclipse and cloud them with a wink,
But that I would not lose her sight so long;
               If her eyes have not blinded thine,
               Look, and tomorrow late, tell me,
         Whether both th' Indias of spice and mine
         Be where thou leftst them, or lie here with me.
Ask for those kings whom thou saw'st yesterday,
And thou shalt hear, All here in one bed lay.

               She's all states, and all princes, I,
               Nothing else is.
Princes do but play us; compared to this,
All honor's mimic, all wealth alchemy.
               Thou, sun, art half as happy as we,
               In that the world's contracted thus.
         Thine age asks ease, and since thy duties be
         To warm the world, that's done in warming us.
Shine here to us, and thou art everywhere;
This bed thy center is, these walls, thy sphere.

Since I haven't been writing much poetry this year due my other goals, I have found poetry-writing-solace in Haiku. If you haven't written haiku before, it's simple to learn and you may find that the constraint frees your imagination (seems counter intuitive, but constraint-based writing creates incredibly productive writers).

A haiku is THREE LINES that look like this:

LINE 1: FIVE SYLLABLES
LINE 2: SEVEN SYLLABLES
LINE 3: FIVE SYLLABLES

Here is a HAIKU a wrote this morning -- 

DEFINITION: A poem guided by the alphabet. Each line or stanza begins with the first letter of the alphabet followed by each letter following, until the last letter is reached. Variations of the form occur.
 
ORIGIN: An ancient poetic form that was commonly used to compose letters, prayers, and hymns. The modern literary world relies on this form for children's books, mnemonic devices and lullabies (think Edward Gorey and Dr. Seuss).
 
LINES: Varies.
 
RHYME PATTERN: Varies. Contemporary abecedarian poetry doesn't rhyme, but there are clear metrical relationships. Children's versions often rhyme and are very sing-songy.
 
STANZAS: Varies.
 
OTHER NOTES:
 
EXAMPLES: John Disch's Abecedary, Carolyn Forché's Blue Hour, Edward Gorey, Dr. Seuss, and Mary Jo Bang's The Bride of E

A few weeks ago, my contract as a curriculum writer expired. It was a wonderful contract, but I knew that my work was done and there wasn’t an option for renewal (I had to say goodbye to $50 an hour, five hour days!). That left me scrambling for work to fill my schedule. You see, I work as a managing editor for Unsolicited Press, but that doesn’t result in a paycheck. It’s all ROI work and someday it will pay off, but today isn’t the day. I usually fill my days with freelance projects (editing and writing), but this fall has been slow, so I have been looking into a few outlets. Here is what I came up with – these companies are hiring in 2018 and if you are looking for a job, it’s important to get on board early.
 
1          Appen

• The company is looking for social media experts, customer service reps, and language specialists.

2          LiveOps

• Looking for more virtual call center agents to handle inbound and outbound calls.  They offer flexible hours.
• Office requirements include a corded telephone, a dedicated landline with telephone service, and a computer with a wired connection to the internet.

3          Amazon

• From customer service to IT, Amazon has dozens of job openings coming up at the end of 2017. Check their job board by searching “virtual”

4          VIPKID

• If you think you can teach kids and you have a background in English, then you just might make a full-time job out of teaching kids from other countries English. They require an extensive interview process, so be prepared for that. You must be comfortable on camera.

5          LanguageLine Solutions

• Are you a translator? You can make a real income here if you are hired on.

6          Hilton Worldwide

• Work for Hilton as a reservation agent and you don’t ever have to go to the office again.  And the best part: full benefits.

8          Cactus Communications

• English majors rejoice! This company offers benefits and the chance to edit. Woo hoo. They have medical and legal editing, among other fields.

9          Xerox

• Xerox offers positions at home in: Customer Care, Tech Support, Data Entry/Verification, Image Tagging, Quality Control, Systems Development, Software Programming, and Administrative/Business Support.

10        Kaplan

• Kaplan is looking to fill dozens of instructor and administrative positions for 2018.

11        K12

• If you are licensed teacher, then you can work from home writing curriculum and teaching children. This online public school needs teachers across the country.

12        CyberCoders

• Wanna make six figures and get benefits? Computer nerds should apply for the jobs at CyberCoders because they have tons of jobs ranging from entry-level to director.

13        Salesforce

• You can snag a job in marketing, tech, management, and programming with Salesforce. The company is trying to hire 150 people by the beginning of 2018 and all of them will receive full benefits. Potential parents look no further because this company offers 6 MONTHS of PAID LEAVE.

14        Wells Fargo

• You can work as a customer service rep with them.

15        Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

• Mostly account execs and sales associates being offered these jobs, but you have to check to see for yourself because it varies by state too.

16        PAREXEL

• Scientists! Find your next clinical research job from the comfort of your home.

17        Connections Education

• Like K12, this company is looking for licensed teachers.

18        Worldpay

• This banking and financial company is looking for account executive to build their client portfolio.

19        Vivint Smart Homes

• This company is actively seeking a tech support and customer service agent to field calls.

20        A Place for Mom

• This assisted living company needs inside/outside sales reps, financial reps, marketing gurus, and IT techs.

21        Adobe

• Adobe is looking for a handful of computer programmers.

22        Aon

• They are looking for sales reps for their services.

23        Grand Canyon University

• The university is looking for faculty, adjuncts, chairs, and admissions advisors.

24        American Express

• Amex wants experienced customer service reps to handle incoming calls.

 
Others that were hiring in 2017 and may still have positions open:
GreatAuPair, The Hartford, Motorola Solutions, Western Governors University, Walden University, Crawford & Company, Overland Solutions, an EXL company, Cigna, SYKES,  Citizens Bank, Achieve Test Prep, Kronos, CVS Health, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Lenovo, and American Heart Association.

I don't want good company & good fires & good vibes.
I don't want to talk to you about the heat or the cold.
​I don't want to hear about how making time for you would make me happier.
I don't like black roosters or cocks. It's not very funny. It's racist.
I don't think being a proud homophobe is attractive.
I don't want to talk about what we did eight years ago.
I can't just get married because you think you still love me.
​I don't.

Making the decision to become a writer is a tough one because there is a lot of negative stigma out there, but you shouldn't let that stop you. Writers can and do make a living in this world. In fact, I'd argue that writers are in greater need than ever before with the explosion of the Information Age.

Once you've decided to pursue writing, whether you are 18 or 57, you need to tell your family and friends. To help you, I've prepared a few statements that you can use to break the news. Enjoy.

• I'm not going to live in your house. I'll just park the RV in the driveway.
• I only have to write 15,000 words a month to make a decent living.
• I can work-from-home or I can get a job in an office.
• Writers earn between 40-100K a year, depending on effort.
• Writers aren't just writers....they can go into a ton of different fields.
• The Ancient Egyptians valued scribes more than any other profession.
• I'm going to get a very important degree...it's called the degree of life.
• My health insurance will always be paid for because I qualify for expanded Medicaid.

For those of you who don't know, I love food. I am working on my master's in nutrition right now and I love food. Part of my mission is to establish myself as an expert in food and nutrition. The best way to do that is to guest post on ads many blogs as possible (in addition to other things of course!).

Since I've been doing my research, I wanted to share with you what I found, in case you are a food writer and looking for new guest post outlets.

I am releasing a marketing book very soon alongside a few of my coworkers from Unsolicited Press. Today, I will share with you are brief excerpt from the book. "A Book a Day" will be available as a ebook and in print. It's loaded with invaluable marketing advice fro authors directly from the publisher.

Setting Up Readings
Readings are easy to set up, but it requires courage to walk into a bookstore of pick up the phone and ask a bookseller to have confidence in your work. But, you’ll never know if a business wants to host your reading unless you ask, so don’t short yourself…make the call or go down and speak with the manager.
 
Before you make any calls or drop bys, create a list of bookstores, bars, cafes, libraries, and other venues that you would like to read at. You should also look into venues that are known to host reading series’ in your area. For example, tons of little bars and cafes play host to monthly reading series’ and they are far more likely to support your event than a café that never hosts readings. Do your homework.
 
Once you have your list, you need to figure out whom to speak to and how those places go about setting up a reading. For most local venues, it is simply speaking to the event planner or manager. For larger venues, such as your local Barnes & Noble, it may require more effort. Major chains list their requirements to set up readings/events on their websites.
 
Add all the details to your list. You will want to have a calendar handy when you begin reaching out to venues; plan to schedule readings from the day of publication through 3-6 months afterwards. Be open to suggestions by the venues as well.
 
Once you have contacted all of the venues to schedule readings, follow through with them to set up readings. You may have to send your media kit and a complimentary copy of your book to the venue for consideration. On your calendar, make a note to get in touch with each venue 3-4 weeks after you’ve made contact (only if you weren’t able to schedule the event right away) to ask if they are interested in booking your reading. If not, thank them and move on. If you are able to book an event, work with them to get everything set up.
 
After you have reached out to local venues, begin looking at other locations within 100 miles of your home. You should be able to secure several readings with ease.
 
Having Books on Hand
We always suggest having a box of at least 100 books with you at all times for readings because things go wrong, and you need to be prepared. Publishers usually offer books at a highly discounted rate, so you can buy copies without going completely broke. For example, we offer our books at 40% of the retail price and don’t require authors to pay anything back. Not only do our authors get to buy the books for cheaper than retail, but the earn a high royalty because we don’t require remuneration (instead of the 25% royalty, they get a 40% royalty per book. Not all publishers are so friendly…some (even big houses) require authors to either buy the books at cost a pay royalties to the publisher as books or sold, OR buy the books at the listed retail price. If you are working with a press, don’t be afraid to negotiate a reasonable price for the books. If you are self-published or operating an indie press, then this isn’t something you need to worry about…just have the books ready to go.
 
Now, you shouldn’t have to use your box of books for readings that are booked at bookstores. Bookstores have the capability to order books through distributors to have books on the shelves, and you should encourage them to do so. For those of you self-publishing, you need to make sure that your book is listed with a friendly distributor. For example, if you are self-publishing via Create Space, you may find that bookstores are hesitant to order from them because they do not offer favorable terms. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t order from Createspace…it just may take a little convincing on your part. You are going to need to demonstrate to them that you are going to bring in a large enough audience to sell the books that they order. And if they still aren’t convinced, then you may need to agree to buy the books from them that they don’t sell.
 
If you are self-publishing or an indie press working with IngramSpark, then you won’t have this issue. IngramSpark offers standard terms to bookstores, making it much easier for you to get the bookseller to order via Ingram and give your book shelf space.
 
The only venues that you are going to need to bring books to are ones that aren’t bookstores. If you are scheduling readings at bars, cafes, parks, etc…then you need to bring books. These venues don’t have accounts with book distributors and you are going to need to help them out. Offer to provide the books, and ask them to do the promoting of the event. If you work together to create a reading that benefits both parties, then the venue is more likely to boost your reading if they see it as an event that will bring them more patrons.
 
Gather Everything You Need
Hooray! You’ve set up readings in your area for your book and you’ve posted the events to your blog/site and social media accounts. You know that you need to have books, but you also need other items to have a successful reading.
 
At every venue, you need to make sure that the proper AV equipment will be provided, if it is needed.
 
You also need to send each venue a poster with your book cover on it. Consider using Vistaprint or Staples or your local printer to help you come up with an eye-catching poster. Use a poster that is either 11”x17” or 16”x20”. The poster doesn’t have to mention the reading; in fact, a universal poster is best because you can send it to every venue without having to edit it. An eye-catching poster will contain a high-resolution image of your book cover, the title of your book, your name, and that 140-character book hook that you created a long time ago. It should also say where the book can be purchased (your website or your publisher’s site).
 
In addition to a poster, you should bring bookmarks, stickers, and any other promotional products that you have created. Readers love free goodies and they are more likely to buy a book if they know that they are getting something for free with it!

The Actual Reading
Plan to read for 15-30 minutes. You should select and practice the excerpt you plan to read from for several days before the reading.
 
When you arrive to the reading, arrive 15 minutes early to handle any business. Check out the reading and get comfortable.
 
If less than 5 people show up, don’t freak out. Do the reading anyways and do it as if 100 people were there. You should also bring somebody along with you to record the entire reading, which you can later post to your website, YouTube or give to your publisher for promotion.
 
After the reading, prepare to hang around 10-20 minutes to talk with readers and sign books. Remember, a book reading is a sales pitch and if you are successful, you should be able to sell every single audience member a book.

Every year, I write a little poem on my birthday. It's not perfect and it's never finished. This is what I wrote this year:


Tomorrow is my birthday
I feel ants sharpen their teeh
readying to peel back my rind.

It'll be easy for the ants and the beetles
to find me -- the grave, handdug
is near the wasp's nest under my favorite fig tree.

Three hours of pulling earth away 
from itself, and my fingernails clogged-- I can smell
chicken manure from last year's harvest.